And today I said...."Automation Controllers... Buy 2, get 3 free.." (part 1/2)
"Yayyyy ! Today I did my first front-end marketing :-) :-) .. " - This is what I wanted to tell today evening, when I left my room today morning. BUT I realized that there is always a BUT. With little time left now.(before I get to the train).. I think I ll blog... :-)
To start with... an amazing hotel, a rich breakfast and a super cozy car... The hotel room was nothing less than a suite... BAD LUCK - My luggage spent more time there than I did. The breakfast menu was a complex combination of every possible cuisine one can think of for breakfast. I dint know the name of half the items in the buffet. When already I was cursing my ignorance, a cute looking Chinese girl walks up to me, points at the Kichadi kept and asks - " Isss thessse made of potaato.. ? "...Frankly, I wanted to say, "Yaaay... oru China Chittu enna paathu question kettuta.... yayy... " ( ya ya.. Alaipayuthey Maddy style only)..But quietly told her "No, this is mashed rice... "...Flirting is as involuntary as heartbeat...Never starts when you want it.. Never stops when you dont want it..
Anyways after satisfying my stomach and my eyes ( :-P ) ... we( i was with my boss) embarked on a 35km drive. It must have been the food, I slept off in less than 120 seconds.. Woke up somewhere in some town with a severe headache.. Feeling very uneasy, I opened THE HINDU and went straight to the Friday Review.( I always make it a point to read "Business News" before marketing presentations :-P .. ). Then came the Cement plant....
A brief definition of cement plants as I perceive them - "A place where Limestone is turned into "powdered Limestone" after adding ash, in the absence of women.. " .. Yes, a cement plant is "DRY", DUSTY and HOT. However, it is wonderful to stand amidst tall chimneys and Kilns admiring what all the human brain is capable of.
We had to surrender our laptops and cellphones at the gate itself. "Come on..we need to sell you guys some controllers and this is not possible without MS- Powerpoint. ", I was telling the security.
"Saaar.. Enna saaar ? "
"Oh.. tamil aaa ? laptop ulla udnga boss... "
"Ille saar.. athu ellam mudiyathu.. ithu kovil mathiri.. seruppa vella uttutu pora mathiri, laptop vella ututu thaaan ponum"....
(in my mind) ".........@!#$%^&*()_...... "
Okies..we surrendered everything and then we get into Customer Corolla and go 0.654 km before we were dropped... And then we go around inside this CONTROL ROOM asking each guy we meet. " Mr. X ? " ... "Mr. X ? " .... "Mr. X?"
All of them give us equally misleading directions and we somehow end up sitting in Mr.X's table waiting for him. Several thoughts flash through my mind. "Are we not DDY marketing managers ? .. How can we wait.... ? This is toooo much... Come on.. I have some self-esteem and pride....."
But all that is of no use. Customer is God for "marketing" people. And then God came. A man of few words and fewer hair :-) ( ok ok.. i m myself balding.. so i can tease...).. He then stretched his hand forward. "Hello.. I m X...", "Hello, I m Srinath... how was the morning?" .... What followed is a phony conversation between me, my boss and Mr. X. I was actually enjoying it. "First "Marketing".. come on.... u need to do all this...", I was telling myself.
After a lot of unnecessary talk about climate in Karur, food in Bangalore, economy in India and agriculture being the best job for politicians, we agreed to go to the controller site to examine the actual configuration. For this we had to wait for Mr. Y ( the specialist in this operation). We waited and waited and then came Mr.Y. From the moment I saw him what surprised me was his resemblance to the Tamil Comedian Vadivelu :-) .He was actually junior to Mr. X, however there were a lot of ego clashes. Inane jokes and phony humor overtook the conversation, with X and Y taking turns in trying to impress us regarding who is better.
But, it was great to actually go to the quarry (or mine) from which the limestone required for cement is obtained. The mines were 6 km away (! ! ! !) from the plant and it was transported through a roller. I was stunned at the way this was being monitored. 300 motors working in complete synch to get the limestone rolling. If the operator wants to freeze a load of limestone, all he needs to do is CLICK his mouse. When we reached the quarry, I was reminded of Fountain Head. Frankly, I was searching for a Domnique :-D. It was unbearably hot and dry. But we had to convince the customer about a lot of things (which I personally considered stupid). I constantly kept reminding myself of GABTAIN. He always puts duty before his belly(though that is a tough task for him). After spending about an hour there discussing various issues such as "Controller peak load, Safety, Reliablity.."(things really which I don believe in), we returned and went for lunch...
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Will continue in my next blog.. Train is just 1 hr from now and we have not yet had our dinner. !
